Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My pussy is not your playground.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
