Barsexuality is the new black.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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