yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
