I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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