Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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