dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
