A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
a search helicopter?!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
