no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
