did you get engaged???
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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