their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
