put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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