I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
