dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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