The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
