4 words: hood of his car
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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