Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
