With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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