i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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