grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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