capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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