WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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