I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
