honey bunches of taint.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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