Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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