a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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