i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
