no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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