You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
nutella sex= disaster
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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