i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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