i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
