Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just pee around me
Of course I have a pirate flag
i think my cat just said my name.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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