And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
