His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
