next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
