Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
