Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
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