We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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