This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
