Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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