Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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