I'm really into asian looking animals
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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