Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize