If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
