People in love make me want to vomit
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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