Its about making memories worth repressing
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize