a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
