don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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