now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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