i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
