IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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