She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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