There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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