I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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