he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Shame - the story of my life.
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