I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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