It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
