why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
