I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
