you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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