i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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