Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
