I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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