i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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