Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
