You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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