i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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