How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
