if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
