idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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